Part of this article was taken from political weekly magazine The New Statesman. it was written by columnist Lauren Booth in 2003. This was about her extreme desperation during the year’s London Mardi Gras event.
I was a mother of two, with a desperate need to pee. He was seventeen and beautiful.
At the lesbian and gay London Mardi Gras, there was a queue for the portaloos. I was desperate. Soon I would not only be the straightest, dullest person there, but I would smell of pee as well. Disco music throbbed from speakers. It was a colourful day that it took my eyes a while to adjust. Pink-spangled bikinis, sky-blue wigs, silver eyeshadow- the gay men were elaborate. The sisters, on the other hand, wore a lot of denim and mostly sat in groups eyeing the fun with curled lips, while the men jumped and shrieked with delight at everything.
The queue was moving fast- but not fast enough. Suddenly, a young man at my side.
“You’re pretty,” he said. “Do you do threesomes?” He was so stunning, so breathtakingly gorgeous, that part of my brain not controlling my bladder thought: “Whatever you say“. Mutely, I showed him my wedding ring.
“Do they still count in your world?” He was touching my hair, sadly.
“Must pee!” I stammered. It was safe. It was true.
“Right!” He sprang into action. He said that, as soon as he spotted a door opening, he would blow his whistle and I had to run as fast as I could to beat the person at the front of the queue.
“But that’s unfair!” I hissed, sweating now. Again, he gave me that sad, head-tilted look. It asked: do queues count in your world too?
“But it’s fun,” he laughed. “Wheee!” He blew his whistle and obediently I hurtled past the girl at the front of the queue, hurling myself into the stinking lavatory. I knew he’d be gone by the time I got out.
After the immense, physical relief had passed, I felt a sense of loss for my new friend. He really was the most beautiful person I ever laid my eyes on…..
He was 17. Ecstacy and striking good looks gave him confidence beyond his years….. How cruel his world is- to torment the rest of us with its anything-for-fun, eternally teenaged lifestyle.