Neville, the former editor of The Bathroom, shares this past experience, which is set at his school’s nativity play.
This experience was set at a time when I was in secondary school. Every year, the school held a traditional nativity play in a neighbouring church. Organising the whole thing as always was Ms Diamond*, our history teacher who had a reputation for being strict with the pupils.
One day, when I was in Mr Mardy’s art class, Ms Diamond came in and asked who would like to be in the nativity play. Most of the children, including myself, gave blank stares. We didn’t want to be in it, however, she always managed to get some pupils to reluctantly appear. I was asked to act as one of the Three Kings. I tried to protest, but really, one mustn’t disobey the teachers.
When I got home to see my parents, they weren’t really pleased. My mum said I should have gone for the part of Joseph! However, she soon made a costume for me, which I had really liked. It consisted of a shiny navy blue dress with gold cardboard collars (yes it was a dress, an old dress of hers). I matched it by making a cardboard crown.
A couple of weeks later, the night of the play arrived, and I was nervous. I hadn’t gone to the toilet while I was at school earlier, and as a result, I was bursting. Despite my predicament, I still felt it was alright to drink a few cups of water to calm my nerves. As the play began, I wasn’t due on stage yet, but my bladder was aching for relief. I discreetly put one hand under my costume and started to pinch my penis for a while. I wasn’t focusing on my part in the play, just when I will be able to use the toilet.
“Neville? Neville? Neville!” Ms Diamond called me to shake me out of my daydreaming.
When I entered the stage with the rest of the Three Kings, I was walking funny. Some of the younger pupils who were sitting in the front row of the audience started to laugh at me. I had to stay on stage while I tried to hold on to my dignity. I began to fidget because of the growing situation in my bladder. I knew I couldn’t hold my penis while on stage, so I crossed my legs tightly instead. Because they were under my dress, most of the audience didn’t notice what I was doing.
I was on stage for only fifteen minutes, but they were the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I knew that if I couldn’t get to the toilet soon, I would embarrass myself by wetting my costume in front of most of the school. Suddenly, I gasped, and felt a little wee leak into my pants. I started to grit my teeth and continued fidgeting. I was now not paying attention to what was going on around me, I just needed to get to find some where to wee. About a few moments later, I felt some more wee leak into my pants. I was going to need some serious help to keep the rest of it in.
Eventually, the play was over, and as soon I left the stage I tried to dash for the toilet, but Ms Diamond suddenly grabbed me by my arm.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked, sternly.
“Look, miss, I need to…”
“I need to talk to you,” she said.
While she was giving me one of her lectures, I started to leak some more wee. It was at that point that I felt I was seriously going to wet myself.
“Stop fidgeting Neville and pay attention!” Ms Diamond snapped. I tried to keep still, but it didn’t work. I leaked some more wee, and felt about just giving up when she said,
“Well, you have detention tomorrow afternoon. Understand?”
“Eh? Oh, yes, yes,” I replied halfheartedly, then made a mad dash to the toilets. But as soon as I got there, I was confronted with queues of pupils wanting to use them. So I rushed out of the church and into the street, holding my penis under my blue dress. I looked around to find a bush near the church’s perimeter fence. By now I was beyond caring about who was going to see me wee. I was desperate and I needed to go now, so I nipped around the bush, lifted my dress, pulled out my penis from underneath and started weeing. Ohhhh….. it was such a relief for me letting it all go. I probably had a lot of fluid in me.
I had played several characters in the nativity play throughout my school years, but never Joseph, which I would have liked…. and each time I probably needed to go to the toilet.
*Teachers’ names have been changed.
Merry Christmas, everybody!